I Don’t Know How to Use an Umbrella (and apparently I’m not the only one!)

Yesterday in the upstate of South Carolina, it rained.  A lot.  And it occurred to me (not for the first time) that I don’t actually know how to use an umbrella.  Yes, I understand the whole concept of popping the thing open to walk under it as a shield from rain.  I’m not that incompetent.  (I do, however, take issue with the inconvenient way some umbrellas open, but I digress.)

I’m talking about that moment when you’ve reached your vehicle, and you have to figure out how to close the frickin’ thing and get into the car without getting soaked.  I mean, does anyone actually know how to do that?  Because if you do, I feel like that could be listed under special skills in your resume:  Excellent problem solver; ability to effectively close umbrella upon vehicle entry.

I ditched umbrellas for rain coats years ago, but since I live and work downtown now, I walk more places than I used to and have an occasional need for an umbrella.  So I was really excited when my mom bought me this Totes umbrella I’d been eyeing as a recent birthday gift. (This is what you have to look forward to in your 30s, kids).  But then I decided to drive across town to pick up groceries, and that’s when the umbrella debacle unfolded (hehe…unfolded…get it?).

I took to social media for answers and learned that I’m not alone.  Apparently nobody knows how to use an umbrella.  One friend did suggest an inverted umbrella, which is cool in theory, but the realist in me tells me it would still pose problems.  I can just imagine closing the thing, then getting the whole “inside” drenched so that when I re-open the umbrella, it drips onto my hair and clothes.  But maybe I’m wrong.  Has anyone had success with those?

 

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